A Sacred Pause in a Noisy World
Hope, healing, and faith for grieving women.
Higher Grounds Ministry
Speak kindly to yourself!
Excerpt from Up To Higher Grounds
Speak to Your Thoughts
When I speak, my thoughts must become silent. Talking always trumps thinking every time. Please hear that again: Your words are louder than your thoughts! So speak out loud to your thoughts when you can. When wrestling with negative thoughts, especially in the context of Christian mothers dealing with grief, I will speak to myself and remind myself of the truth about my situation. I can and will control my thoughts when I speak the truth to myself in a positive way. No matter where I am or what I am doing, I can choose to speak life to myself. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
Speak to yourself in the same way that you would speak to one of your friends. If someone comes to me, perhaps a widow seeking comfort, full of worry and care, and asks for help and advice, I would comfort and console them and talk them through their troubles. Now reverse the roles, place yourself in their seat, and give yourself the same advice full of kindness and love. Tell yourself that you can get through this. Tell yourself that you are an overcomer. Tell yourself to look at everything you have been through and what you've already conquered. How often have you spoken much more kindly to a complete stranger than you do to yourself? You treat them with compassion and grace. Incredibly, we struggle with giving ourselves the same confident advice and encouragement we so easily give others. So when talking to yourself and encouraging yourself, imagine sitting beside you as a friend. This will absolutely change how you see your present situation.
There is no need to lie about what is going on in your life or around you. Be honest, then make intentional choices about how you think about it. You are your most crucial vocal influence in responding to good or ill. I try to talk aloud to myself when I am on a busy baking day and getting tired. "I can do this—only twenty loaves to go. I am strong. I am creative, and I love sharing my talents. This is hard, but I am strong! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I will take a deep breath, rest a moment, and then list my next steps to work through.
If you sometimes spiral down into negative thoughts, take a moment and speak to yourself. Use your favorite quotes or scriptures whenever needed. Talk to yourself like you are encouraging a friend. Silence these thoughts so they can no longer control your peace of mind. Silence everything untrue. Stop your thoughts mid-sentence and tell your mind the truth! Do not accept and believe the lies you hear, especially inside your head. Gift yourself lots of good words to work with. Find some quotes or verses to repeat to yourself a few times daily. Set an alarm on your device if needed. Name your alarm; God loves me! Good thoughts in, good thoughts out. They say you are what you eat, so consume good things both in food and thinking. Control the media you take in so you don't obsess about things that aren't happening to you right here and now—strong character things in, strong character out. Speak to yourself, label the negative, and tell it to get away from you. Nothing is too hard for me and God.
Consider this: if you walked through a public space and heard a bully or two bothering another child, would you keep going? Would you stand by and listen, or would you step in to defend and aid? Most of us would step in and run off the bullies. Please do the same for yourself. You deserve to be spoken to with love, kindness, and encouragement. Please speak kindly and respectfully to you. You deserve and need strength and encouragement at every moment of your life.
Say nothing about yourself that God does not say about you. He will never shame nor torment you. God talks to you with loving-kindness. He convicts without demeaning and corrects without shame. He is always out for your good, never for your suffering. Silence your inner critic. Don't speak it over yourself if you cannot find it in scripture. God does not torment. He asks for obedience and faith, but He doesn't beat you over the head. He will kindly lead you to good things and is very attentive to your every call.
We are praying for you! And if you are interested in exploring deeper reflections, consider checking out the Free Devotional from Higher Grounds Ministry, titled 'Up To Higher Grounds.'
